The Question
by Twilight Scribe
Summary: Ever wonder why the town crystal in Marr's Pass has a that huge lock and chain on it? A little humor, a little conspiracy and a whole lot of Striped Bandits!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

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Chapter 1: Never Noticed

The Fum caravan spent a lot of their time in Marr's Pass. It was on their way home after all. In their many years as part of the caravan the four Clavats had become very familiar with the tiny mountain town. But there are always details to be overlooked, even in the most familiar of places.

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The fifth year of the Fum caravan's journey was drawing to a close. The four yellow-clad friends were headed home, their chalice filled with myrrh.

There were still a few weeks before they needed to be in Fum, so the caravan was taking a break from duty to do some shopping and forge new equipment. (A decision made due to a recent close call in battle against the Orc King in the Mine of Cathuriges.)

The four stood in the main square of Marr's Pass. The boys sat, people-watching and staring off into space. Waiting as patiently as they could while the girls did business with the Selkie traders. You could tell from the spacey looks on their faces that they were daydreaming about the upcoming myrrh festival and the cute Selkiegirl who stopped for lunch with them yesterday.

The girls were almost finished with their shopping when a peculiar glint on the town's massive crystal caught the boys' eyes.

"Hey, d'you see that?"

"Yeah, now stop elbowing me."

"Why would they need to chain down the village crystal? It's not like somebody could walk up and steal it... Right?"

"Of course, don't be stupid. It's way too big for anyone to carry."

The girls, finally done with their shopping, (once Sheula starts talking, she just can't stop) walked over to where the boys were sitting. Their arms full of metallic goodies.

"Okay guys, we got the materials. Give me the scrolls and we can... What are you staring at?"

"Look over at the crystal."

"A chain? How long has that been there?"

"I never noticed it before."

"Most people don't." The Selkie merchant appeared behind the group. "However there are a few select persons who know the full story behind the chain, I am proud to be one of them." He said with a conspiratorial wink. "If you really wanted to hear the tale, I could be persuaded to tell it. Say... for the purchase of one mythril? Hint hint."

"We already bought two mythrils from you."

"... So you did. Well, it happened a few years back. Tell me, have you ever heard of the Striped Bandits?"

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A/N: I finally got around to writing/posting this. My plot bunny kept abandoning me, it's a conspiracy I tell you! You may have noticed how I skirted around the caravaneer's names. That's because when I was writing it, the only one who's name I could find was Sheula. (she's the female leader) Later on I found the guys were named Jake and Andy, but by then it was already written and I was too lazy to go back and change it. I'm still not sure what the other girl's name is... 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

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Chapter 2: Complaints

Pale moonlight glinted off the cobblestone streets of Marr's Pass as three figures ambled down the darkened main street. The moved in a stealthy group until the eldest of the three spotted a barrel that seemed... special. Signaling to his moogle companion the two silently snuck away from their young leader.

Upon reaching the barrel the old man realized why he had been so drawn to it. The oaken container fairly reeked of striped apples.

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Bal Dat had been leader of the Striped Bandits for some time now. He was used to looking over his shoulder and finding his partners in crime missing, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

The cunning young Selkie had been nearly in front of his prize before he noticed his companion's absence. Turning on his heel and retracing his steps he found them. His old friend Meh Gaj sat on the ground and their loyal and crafty moogle Artemicion floated in a lazy circle above an open barrel. Both were absorbed in their task of stuffing their faces with as many apples as possible.

Bal's stomach rumbled as he watched the two, but he pushed his thoughts of _'Save some for me'_ aside and took up his fearless leader persona. "Look at you two! Pigging out like goblins on a helpless caravan... Did you forget why we're here?"

"Yeah, yeah, but I don't see why we need the crystal in the first place" Artemicion said, pausing to nibble on an apple, "We already have a crystal of our own, and it's not like we can move this one by ourselves, kupo."

"Besides, I thought we promised we would never kill. Wouldn't people be hurt if we stole their town crystal?" Meh protested, supporting his moogle pal. They hadn't liked this plan when Bal had suggested it, and they didn't like it now. It seemed low; it required conduct that was totally against the code of thieves. (Anything that belongs to others actually belongs to us.)

"We already discussed this, we're not going to take it anywhere. We don't have to carry it and no one will be hurt, so you can stop worrying. We just have to scare them a bit, and then we'll have all the gil and striped apples we could want."

"But Bal, we already have all the apples we need right here." Meh pointed to the barrel and the pile of apple cores at his feet.

Bal groaned. That old coot could be so frustrating sometimes, what with his _logic_ and _practicality._ He wasn't really cut out for the bandit life. Sure, he knew that stolen food always tasted better and stolen gold shined brighter, but he didn't get that it was all about the risk. (And the greed, don't forget greed)

Yes, they could have taken the single barrel of apples and fled into the night. They'd never be caught and they'd have a nice little feast. But Bal had a plan. A daring scheme that would net them several thousand gil and at least 10 times as many apples as were in that barrel.

"Come on." Bal said with a sigh, "We've got to stay on-task." Sauntering back towards the crystal he pulled a few large vials of toad oil from his pack along with a bolt of white silk, confident that behind him his partners were doing the same.

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A/N: Hey looky! I actually looked up the names this time. And I would like to apologize to Artemicion for running him down with my wagon. I'm sorry, but 100,000+ gil was too much to give up, even to see the end of your story. At least you got to live your dream. 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't care what the lawn gnomes told you, I don't own it.

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Chapter 3: Honest Work, Kinda... 

The atmosphere in camp had been subdued to say the least, and it hadn't improved with sunrise. After oiling the crystal the night before, the three rogues were ready to proceed with phase two of Bal's plan.

It was mid-morning when a wagon rolled into town. It was carrying two Selkies and a moogle, all of which looked very sour and depressed. The attitude was due to a small detail that Bal had failed to mention: they couldn't wear their normal bandit garb. Instead of their classic purple they were dressed in practical workman's uniforms of a Clavat style and Artemicion had washed off his trademark striped paint. All in all, they looked like respectable, hardworking tradesmen.

It was sickening.

Their only consolation was seeing their work had not been in vain. After the hours they had spent smearing toad oil all over the giant crystal, coating it and inundating the ground around it, the huge gem was positively filthy. It looked dull and greasy, ready to wink out a moment's notice. It had also slid several feet out of its niche down the incline of the street.

A crowd of Clavats and Lilities (and two Selkies) had gathered at the base of the great crystal, dismayed over it's dimming state. The mayor was in the front of the group trying to calm the agitated citizens.

The bandits steeled themselves, determined to put on the best performance they could. Their cue came with Bal's relaxed "All right guys; it's show time."

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To say the Mayor was losing patience was an understatement. Though he was a calm and levelheaded individual, having a mob of upset townsfolk screaming at him was getting old fast.

He could understand their anxiety, he felt it too. The crystal was the only thing keeping the miasma at bay and them alive. It wasn't as if they had a spare crystal hidden away in the city hall; they didn't even have the chalice...

It was the stress of keeping the townsfolk at bay (and away from their pitchforks) that caused the harried mayor to snap at the brash young Selkie who cried "Never fear, help is on the way!"

"Just who are you to be offering help?" The mayor questioned harshly.

"I take it you're the mayor of this fine town, no?"

The mayor hated it when someone answered a question with a question. "Yes, I am. Now I ask you again: who are you?"

"Oh, forgive me." Hopping down off the wagon the boy placed a hand on hid chest. "I am Bal." Gesturing to his companions he continued "my associates are Meh and Artemicion. We represent Crystal Cleaners Incorporated."

"Crystal Cleaners?" The mayor asked incredulously, "You're crystal repairmen?" _'And you just happened to be passing through town when our crystal malfunctions.'_

"Yes, our company was created to avert disasters like the destruction of Tida. It seems like you could use our help. You'll find our rates are very reasonable, 12,500 gil and 12 barrels of striped apples for a standard cleaning."

The mayor was painfully aware of everyone's attention directed at him. It was a simple choice: pay the men or death by miasma in the near future. Despite his reservations over trusting the unknown Selkies the frazzled Lility asked "How soon can you start?"

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A/N: Couldn't you see the bandits as janitors? Respectable, hardworking folk just trying to make an honest living in a harsh world? Me neither. 

Thanks to all my reviewers! I'm glad to know someone out there likes my work. (grin) Cookies for all!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I may not own it, but the Force is with me.

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Chapter 4: Wearing Thin 

The plan had been coming together perfectly. They had won the town's trust, set up their ladders and started scrubbing away the oily grime. There was just one snag the bandits hadn't considered: cleaning was hard work!

In preparation for the scheme the Selkies had traveled to Shella to purchase a toad oil solvent. (Yet another bit of 'honest business' that had made the outlaws squirm.) Both to enable them to remove the toad oil, which is notoriously hard to get out of anything, and to make them look more convincing as professional cleaners.

Problem was, it didn't work. The Yuke who made it must have been a hack or a charlatan (oh, the irony) because the cleaning potion barely put a dent in the many layers of grime. The lack of progress was causing tempers to wear thin.

"My paws hurt, and my wings are getting tired. How much longer will this take, kupo?"

"When will you stop asking that!" Meh exploded. As much as the Selkie liked the little moogle, he was getting fed up with hearing the same question every two minutes.

"We're going to be at this for days." Bal grumbled from the top of the ladder. "You two overdid it with the toad oil; you must've used more than 40 vials..." he said, scrubbing wearily at the crystal's side.

Meh stopped and glared up at the young outlaw. "You're saying this is _our_ fault?"

"You heard me."

That was it. _He_ was the leader, it was _his_ plan that had failed, if anyone was responsible it was Bal Dat. "Get down here, Pipsqueak. We need to talk." Meh growled.

_'Pipsqueak!'_ How he hated that nickname, it was one of the main reasons he'd left Leuda. Scowling right back, Bal slid down from his perch and was face to face with Meh in an instant. "You wanna start something, old man?"

Artemicion hovered well out of harm's way around the top of the crystal, watching his friends prepare to rip each other's throats out. He knew he should try to break it up. Even so, the usually stalwart moogle didn't dare to come close. Selkies may be carefree and silly when in a good mood, but they were terrifying when angry. Even for someone as cute and fuzzy as he, there was a good chance he'd be ripped to adorable shreds.

The moogle had almost gathered enough courage to intervene when a female voice sounded below. The waves of Selkic animosity that had threatened to engulf the village square evaporated as the would-be combatants turned to examine the newcomer. She was a Clavat, fairly young and wearing a pink dress. More importantly she carried a wicker basket that gave off the delicious aromas of a home-cooked meal.

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?"

_'she's cute...'_ "Of course not, my dear. How may we be of service?" Meh replied glibly, throwing in a dramatic bow for good measure.

Giggling at the Selkie's old-fashioned manners, the girl held up her basket. "You could take a break for lunch."

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"It's really good of you to do all this for us."

"Yeah! Thanks, kupo."

"Oh, it was nothing..."

The four had retreated to the shade of the trees to escape the afternoon sun and eat their lunch. The currently sat in the grass by the road into town, surrounded by huge swords imbedded tip-down in the earth.

"Besides, you guys deserve it after working all day in the hot sun." The girl paused for a moment to grab another roll, "Speaking of which, how's it going? How much longer do you think it's going to take? Not that I'm impatient or anything." She added quickly.

Bal noticed Meh stiffen upon hearing the dreaded question, but the old man kept his mouth shut. "It's a lot harder than we expected. At the rate we're going it'll take at least another day before we finish cleaning."

"And after that we still have to push it back into place and find a way to hold it there. It keeps sliding out, kupo."

"Hold it in place... I have an idea." Scooching around to face the town she pointed to the crystal's niche, "The crystal sits in a crack in the bedrock of the mountains. If we had a big chain with, I don't know... spikes? Yeah! Spikes on the ends. We could embed the ends in the rock and that would keep the crystal in place." The girl mimed pounding a nail with a hammer.

"That's... a pretty good idea. I'm impressed."

"Thanks, it comes from being a blacksmith's daughter."

"But where would we find a chain of that size?" Meh inquired, breaking his silence.

The young Clavat regarded him with a look that said 'Haven't you been paying attention?' then smiled and said, "I'm the _blacksmith's daughter._ I'll get dad and the other smiths to forge it. We may have hired you three, but that doesn't mean you have to do all the work by yourselves. We're here to help."

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A/N: Aw, isn't she a sweet little Clavat? That's the last bit of even semi-fluffy, feel-goodness I'm going to write in this fic, I promise. 

To my reviewers: thanks for taking the time to write, I really appreciate the support. Master Summoner Sheena, GermanBunny, you guys rock!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I would have made multi-player mode easier to manage.

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Chapter 5: Hidden Truths 

By this time the sun was starting to set. Even though the Fum caravan was paying rapt attention, the Selkie merchant decided it was time to speed things up.

"Long story shorter: the bandits worked hard and cleaned the crystal while the smiths made the chain. When everything was ready, all the townsfolk helped push the crystal into place and secured it in a wonderful show of unity and teamwork. The bandits were paid and learned that honest work has its perks. And the day was saved, thanks to: the Striped Bandits! Now, do you feel better informed?"

"Yeah, but I've got a few questions."

"Me too."

From their faces the merchant could tell all four had questions they wanted answered, the boys were just too lazy to ask. _'Don't they know the proper etiquette was to thank the storyteller and go? Oh well, they're good customers... I can cut them some slack.'_ "Ask away, ladies."

"Before you started you said only a few people knew the chain's story, but from what you told us, everyone in town knows." Sheula mused.

"Yes, they know a part of the tale, but not the whole thing. Do you think they would have paid the 'crystal repairmen' if they had known the truth?"

"I guess you're right..." The Clavat thought for a moment, then exclaimed "Wait a minute!" With a crafty grin gracing her features she asked "If everyone in town was tricked, how is it that you know the 'whole story'?"

"That's right! How did you know about the bandits?" Pressed the other girl.

"Uh... well..." The Selkie stammered, taking a step back from their interrogation towards the relative safety of his shop. "You heard nothing!"

"C'mon, you can tell us. Please?" Sheula pleaded, giving her most piteous sad puppy eyes. _'He's not giving up, it's time to play dirty.'_ Heaving a sigh she turned and started to walk away, "Well I guess I'll have to find someone else to chat with, like the mayor. Isn't that him over there?"

"Whoa!" The Selkie lunged forward and grabbed the girl's wrist, pulling her back with a look of horror on his face, "Don't even joke about that." _'What have I gotten myself into? This isn't worth selling a mythril.'_ "I knew about the plans, all right? I _made_ the stupid plans! Happy now?"

"Why would you do that? What did you get out of it?"

_'What's with this girl? Clavats aren't supposed to be this sharp. Maybe she's half Selkie'_ "I know when I'm beaten, I got my shop out of the deal. The bandits took the apples and some of the gil, but the rest went to financing this." He said, waving to his tent. "Please... Please keep it a secret. I don't feel like being run out of town just yet."

The girls got that look again, the look of pure, calculating _evil._ After a bout of frenzied whispering and plotting the two turned their attention again to the desperate merchant. "If you really want our silence, I suppose we could be persuaded keep your secret. For a future discount on everything in your shop? Say... forty percent?"

"Thirty."

"Seventy."

"... Forty sounds fine."

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A/N: Who knew Clavats could be so cruel? 

And it's done! Sing a happy song, do a happy jig, or not. Thanks for sticking with me, cookies to all and to all a goodnight! (Throws cookies to the masses)


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